Originally Posted by James B
Thank you for this Club Bondman.
How does a young Christian like myself control lust for women?
Also, how does a Christian recognise finding the right love thats not just lust?
How do you understand it?
Okay, FIRST. This is different for a mature Christian man who has some Spiritual strength from the Lord, than for a younger Christian who likely hasn't developed a lot of strength as yet.
SECOND. The lust Scripture is:
But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
"If we look at a woman and LUST after her!" Hmm... not easy for us guys, hey! Women have their things really tough; this is the tough one for the Christian male.
THIRD. As for a whole great LOT of Scriptural principles and how we must live them out, this is very much tied up with OUR ATTITUDE! Consider: we can look at a great painting and admire it and say that we absolutely love it. BUT... we probly won't want to steal it, hey! Tho an art thief might.
There's the difference in attitude. I looked, saw beauty; HE looked, and wanted it! So these days, with God's help, I can look at beauty in women without lusting. As an early Christian, let's not beat about the bush on this, I sinned. As most Christian men do (so you're not alone, trust me).
FOURTH. But let's take this a little further. Our lustful eyes, then thoughts, are likely to be centered on things sexual, right. So there's where we must take great care. I can actually look without sinning - but mostly I DON'T do this, cos I'm NOT gonna put myself into needless temptation, AND I'd much sooner "do without" than sin against my Lord, who died for me at great cost so all my sin could be FORGIVEN! Including LUST sin!
FIFTH. Notice very carefully what the LUST OF THE EYES does: COMMITS ADULTERY! Jesus is not messing round here! You lust - you just committed adultery with her!! This is forgivable by Him, but the true Christian DOES NOT WISH TO BE AN ADULTERER!!!
SIXTH. Having done my best to define and explain what lust is: starts out with a wrong ATTITUDE, continues with the eye, and ends up with wrong THOUGHTS, maybe that will have helped you see the way to loving, rather than lusting. If there's lust, then that's bad. We gotta be PURE if we're Christian. And we'd want her to be PURE too, right? So exit LUST! Then you are free to first appreciate her, then enjoy her for who she is, and maybe even get a FRIENDSHIP going (desperately need FRIENDSHIP first - before romantic love comes in and quite blinds your eyes for approx. the next 2 years, by which time you may well discover that you made a bad mistake, too late!!!)
FINALLY. You CANNOT succeed in not lusting WITHOUT God!!! Can't do anything worthwhile without Him - but this one is deadly certain. Try not lusting; try harder; screw yourself up to busting point - you'll fail!! You can only do this with HIS help, via HIS strength in you, via His Holy Spirit: 1. First tell Him you want to stop sinning. 2. Tell Him again, over and over. 3. Ask Him for His help, and keep asking. 4. You'll get this when you want to NOT lust, more than you WANT to lust: at that point His power comes in and helps you to achieve what alone you'll fail at every time.
SUMMARY: 1. Wrong ATTITUDE 2. LOOK at what you shouldn't, WITH the wrong attitude 3. Then come the LUSTFUL THOUGHTS - and you're an adulterer! I'm sure you can see the things to avoid, and with HIS HELP, succeed at! And I can tell you that being an OVERCOMER, and KNOWING that you are, is way beyond wonderful!!!
Bless you as you consider this - and work on it, with the Lord!
- BM and his Lady